no one

No one showed up to High Park. I was disappointed, frustrated, a little angry.

I spent time preparing for the RASC City Observing Session at High Park. Did up my usual 2-page observing plan sheet. Booked a rental car. Spent time fetching (and returning) said car; loading and unloading my (very non-portable) 'scope. I was really looking forward to observing, seeing some "old friends" (up in the sky), seeing some new friends (from the society), helping, learning! But it was all for naught.

I got to the frozen soccer pitch about 6 o'clock. No cars in the nearby lot. Didn't see humans milling about. Backed in, cranked the heater for a couple of minutes, baked it, and then shut down. Got out for a moment to survey the partly cloudy sky. Sat in the car, watching the drivers drive by, watching the running clubs run by.

When I suddenly realised I had forgotten the new gel cell battery! DOH! That was a key thing I wanted to test tonight. In the cold. Under load. Ya goof. Not to mention a required item if we got close to the dew point. I could see it sitting by the door... I blitzed home.

When I re-entered to the park moments later, there still were no RASC people around. Backed in, cranked the heater, and sat there. I decided to not immediately set up my telescope. "Let's wait and see..."

OK. Now what. Let's check conditions again.

Turned on the new Heat Gloves and headed out to the field. Sat on the hydro box for a little while. Returned to the car. Listened to the radio for a bit. Grabbed by binos from the trunk and returned to the field. Got cold. Got frustrated between glasses fogging and handheld viewing. Back to the car. Warmed up. Fetched a red flashlight, ensured the gloves were on the high setting, and crunched back to the hydro box.

When a mini van pulled up... It was Tony! Sans observing gear. He had brought Ben, for some walkies. Still, it was good to see a familiar face. And to catch up. And have an opportunity to vent. It was around 7:30 when he took a phone call. Duty had called. He left around 7:45. And eluded I should do the same...

In a effort to get some value of my AutoShare wheels, I considered car errands. Unfortunately, some things I would have enjoyed doing were not possible given the time. Still, I got a couple of important things crossed off.

As I returned to the 'hood, I drove 'round the park again. At 8:30, there was no one to be seen in the RASC designated area. And the sky was bad. I headed home to unload.

How did I get sucked into this?

OK. That's a little severe. But the point is, I'm not The Man. I'm not the High Park guy. I have never wanted to be the lead for COS events at High Park. When we started to "branch out," I expressed my diluting concerns. But, at the same time, the Centre wanted to offer a COS to western residents. Certainly, it was a benefit to me. Initially using Humber Bay West, it was Ken who took up the charge. But he soon stepped away from this role (as he aligned himself increasingly with other factions). All the while, I had made it clear that the Centre should not assume that I was lead for points west. I offered to be backup only, if available.

I was being protective, sure. Partly of my variant commitment level. Not to mention already having too much on my plate.

This is how it happens, isn't it. Not saying "yes," but still getting more put on your plate, slowly, subtly, small things, over time. Here I was, the lead for the High Park, tonight.

If one person had shown, it would have turned it all around! Especially, say, a new member. Or someone with their new, Christmas gift 'scope, desperately in need of assistance. It would have all pivoted with one visitor. Funny.

But with no one, I just brooded. And by the time I got home, done unpacking, done car logistics, I was pretty bummed. Yes, I was able to return the car 1.5 hours early. I don't know what the cost savings will be. If any. Yes, I saw a very good flyover. Still, what a bad taste in my mouth.

I know some of this is personal. Just me. Something inside me. The iceberg of a deeper frustration. A knot of angst. With my gear, with my C8. My beloved SCT. I so enjoy using this telescope and the SP mount. I'm having so much fun getting proficient with it, getting faster. But I'm not enjoying setting it up. The time, all the bits. I am especially not enjoying tearing it down. I was determined to not set up nor tear down in the park by myself. I so would have in my back yard!

I vowed to follow up with the observing team.